Intro + Dream #1

Ok, so this could probably fit into my update blog but I'd rather keep them seperate. Also, from here on out you will be able to tell the difference between my what is my dream and what is my interpretation because my dream will be italicized.

Here we go!

I'm standing in line to get tickets to a really big dance. The line takes forever, but it's split into two parts, one is outside where I watch groups of people get into different kinds of limos, then the second part is inside. When I finally get up to buy my ticket, it turns out I can sign this book they have to enter to win some really big prizes. I sign the book without hesitation, then I write something underneath my name like "if you call me but they don't see me just keep yelling my name because I'm not going to leave" or something like that. Then I notice that you can't really see my name (which I've spelled with a y for pronunciation reasons) and I try tracing it to make it more noticeable, but the pen isn't working. I keep trying, pressing the pen as hard as I can into the book, and the book starts bleeding. Then I start freaking out because I can't even see where I wrote my name on the book in the first place. They guy who I bought the ticket from kinda laughs, and tells me to "calm down, just look where you started, you'll find it" or something like that. I take a deep breath and look, and sure enough my name is there (without a y). My friends come up to me and Karma sees that the book is bleeding, and she tells me she did that too. Whether she means she signed the book too, or that she also made it bleed I'm not sure.

I then walk out of the ticket line (without a ticket, but maybe they keep track of who gets into the dance some other way!) and go sit at this table in some kind of arcade. I'm sitting next to a guy who is incredibly hot, and I think I like him (in the dream) but in reality I don't know anyone who looks like him. For some reason I have my guitar with me, and he tells me (very shyly) that he needs someone who can play guitar. I don't know what he needs them for but I get really excited, and I hug my guitar to me, but unfortunately the tuning things (can't remember actual name atm) get caught in my hair. I start freaking out again, and the guy gets really worried and jumps up to get my hair untangled. I freeze, to make it easier for him, and he gets my hair out all right. He sits back down next to me (holding my hand now) and he tells me I just need to calm down. I tell him I how I also started freaking out about the book, and he just nods, and gives me a hug.

The dream jumps ahead slightly, and suddenly I'm over playing an arcade game. Just as my turn is over Denver comes up to me. The guy from earlier who I'm apparently dating now, is standing next to the machine. Denver asks him if he's asked anyone to the dance yet, and as a response the guy pulls me to him and gives me a very passionate kiss. Just a we break apart he hugs me tight to him, and I'm incredibly happy. But just as I look up at him I see that it's Denver, but it's not really. Denver is still standing off to the side, talking to this guy who looks just like him but apparently that's only something I can see. I bury myself in the Denver-lookalike's arms because I'm just so happy, and he pulls me close to him.

Then I wake up. IKNORITE?? What terrible timing.

Anyway, first off I start freaking out about not being able to enter myself for whatever the prize is. I think this could have something to do with school, because of the book, but I don't know what the whole "calm down, just look where you started, you'll find it" bit is about. And then Karma comes up and tells me she did the same thing, whether she meant making the book bleed or just signing the book I'm not sure. But once I calmed down I saw that my name was there. That often happens in real life, once I stop freaking out about something I see things I had previously missed. And there's also the bit about the spelling of my name. Perhaps because I spelled my name wrong, just to accommodate someone else, that's why the book started bleeding. And when I looked back at the book my name was spelled how it should be, which could be somewhat symbolic of me losing my identity. As a college student I have a ton of opportunities to get involved in so many things, but I usually sit up in my room on the internet because I don't want to go out by myself. Maybe that's where the line about looking where I started comes in. Once I look at myself, and what I've wanted in the past, I'll find who I am or what I want to do.

The next part makes somewhat more sense to me. As I'm sitting and talking with this guy he comments on my guitar, which I am planning to learn to play this summer. I actually somewhat hope that it will help me meet more people (guys in particular, but I'm not opposed to making new female friends) in one way or another. So when this guy mentions my hobby I get really happy and end up embarrassing myself, something I avoid like the plague which also hinders me from being social to many people. Thankfully this guy is a miracle, and instead of making fun of me he helps me out. I'm still incredibly embarrassed though, and for the second time I'm told to calm down. Later when I'm playing the arcade game Denver comes up (not gonna go into that, I know, and that's good enough) and asks the guy if he's asked anyone to the dance. When the guy pulls me to him and kisses me I'm surprised, but too in the moment to really think and we have a really passionate kiss. But as I pull away and look at him I notice it looks like Denver, but it's not actually Denver because he's still standing there off to the side. So to me this means that I want someone who is as physically pleasing to me as Denver is (and Denver is damn fiiiiiiine) but acts differently. Basically, the perfect guy. And I end up getting this guy after I finally relax, so maybe ultimately my dream is just telling me that when I calm down and relax more I will get things that I want.

I definitely am freaking out about not having a boyfriend. I love having a boyfriend, and as much as I love my friends and family it's nothing like that feeling you have when you care for someone else so much. I love being in love, and I just haven't experienced that for so long that it's affecting me negatively. I'm much more apathetic now, not to mention OBSESSED with every guy I pass on the sidewalk, just hoping that I'll catch someone's eye and things will just start like they do in the movies. I don't think I'll ever learn that things don't happen like they do in the movies. To tie in the previous part, I think the dream is also telling me that before I get a boyfriend I should figure out who I am and what I want. Once I do that, things will fall into place. Which is where the calming down aspect comes in, I just need to stop thinking about not having a boyfriend so much, and get a hobby that makes me more social (like guitar =D)